we are all a little weird and life's a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatiable with ours, and join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

shall move to tumbir... cos livejournal is sad with the displays and profile pics!

the harmonization is sweet!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtXr0pIRSg4

and i have problems concentrating today...rarrr... research paper due in a week! work hard!!

http://www.destination360.com/europe/spain/images/s/spain-barcelona.jpg

pretty pretttyyy... rarr.. stop number 20192038: Barcelona~~~~

jobs jobs jobs

heehe... before i forget i gues... i really want to write this down..

places to visit:
vietnam
mongolia
pakistan
turkey, egypt, cyprus, greece, italy, spain, portugal
boston, chicago
mexico
brazil, argentina, chile, peru
china again: yunnan, xian and sichuan
laos, cambodia
russia, cuba, jamaica, barbados
south africa, mozambique, ethiopia,

okay... time to force myself to study..but im dozing offf....

ah... back at work again. having a fantastic night renders some blog entries. i rmb relaying to people about how coming back is odd..cos of the disconnection. there still is. don get me wrong but im getting sufficient time alone. sufficient time to think. sufficient time to say no. im not going to go there. but yest changes my feeling about disconnection that it can be a good thing afterall.

i told them about a. and its nice i guess... the problem is that nothing is going to happen.cos the truth is that a. going back. this is odd.. but i actually don mind at all. back to that later.hung in RJ just prancing around..still loud, but there are so many old memories. memories of just everything simple. everything that i use to love so much about the old times. cross country. friends. everybody just being as silly as possible. while they say i still havent changed in that aspect, i know that there is a prat of me that i cannot share. cannot tell people about how confused i really m. when you are used to being with yourself. you don make plans for people to enter. and there are always layers i guess..overlapping ones... that needs to be peeled off. there are layers that are also building up. i can feel the other one overtriumphing my old one. but i don know whether i like it. i need to figure it out myself i guess. but ya.. having a backdrop or being reminded of my old one is nonetheless comforting. the side that is uncomplicated. i was really happy in cross i guess. that everyone is just comfortable that we are still really good friends even though we are so different. not diff in the character way i guess.. but that our characters do not let us be those "friends" the ones that hang out all the time. but everytime when i come back there is always this warming touch by them. something indescribable. oh so emo.

okay lah.. there are so many to think about...so many to blog about... but i will be back!

some how there are so many things to consider
you. and past you.
somehow i dreamt about the past you. about how you are working... then suddenly i woke up realising that you are really a good person. deep inside. outside. shit man... i write as annoyingly as that woman.. not that im comparing myself to her. she is a brilliant writer..confusing though... pretentious bullshit.. what i call the economist.i should just focus on doing one thing at a time. but im happy... yet deeply troubled. that the feeling is rising inside me.. not feelings of the past. but rather new feelings. new ones that sink my boat and make me feel like a circle is drawn around me. with me all in it.

some how i just need to find someone to move around with.. to have that comfort sinking in... shutss... im feeling the effects of jet lag already. but ya.. you know the feeling that... i want to go there... ill come with you. thats too ambitious? whats not?

finally. the break is funny. very odd actually..going for hillsongs concert is not going to help. it is not the institution that im uncomfortable with... but rather. the ideology behind it. the fact that i call it ideology reflects power and deceit. is it really just about that? i am tired to figure it out. im tired of the need to rebel.. something that i can never understand n something that i need to know.

what if? what if? im so happy with i. i will be happy for you as well, g. there are so many considerations. i have to work and figure out wat to write about... ahhh!! okok... time for a nap. good night!

stupid stupid stupid. i know what im referring to... not again!

hmmmhmm... thinking of taking a semester off from school to work. to have a different experience after my south africa one... this thought pops out in my mind so suddenly but honestly, it sounds like a brilliant idea... with a lot of logic. but a lot of boldness..

aimless

"Aimless"

The curtain falls, down she goes
So long worth
All the applause seems beautiful
It's got a hold on her
She whispers, "I'll go home"
And then she's reminded
That she doesn't know where that is

Thought she belonged
But she knows she don't
Thought she had love
But it is not enough
The pain inside is speaking to her
How could she feel like this
So aimless

His glass falls
Breaks into a thousand pieces
Spilling out all he's tried to hide
"I only wanted to be strong, to be brave
But it's driven everyone away"

Thought he belonged
But he knows he don't
Thought he had love
But it is not enough
The pain inside is speaking to him
How could he feel like this
So aimless

I've been him, and I've been her
Covered up under the dirt
I want to get out
I want to be free
And know where I'm going

Thought I belonged
But I know I don't
Thought I had love
But it is not enough
An aching inside speaking to me
How could I feel like this
So aimless

They've always known this wasn't home
I've always known this wasn't home

i know i just posted something on line... in the DS class yet again. she is talking about the same thing again and she mumbles at time... aiyooo.. so annoying

this aimless thing is quite fun... i know what i get bored with. somehow i got led back to India yet again. NOW a free trip... jealous or not?

haii... i am basically fucked for my finals... good luck von and i have a problem with availability man... aiyaa... who cares lah!

i know i havent written for a while. and i am officially fucked... think i will actually fail this class for such a stupid mistake... omg omg... don even want to start ranting about it. the last time i ate was at 9 in the morning... a banana..can you imagine how hungry i am now... i can only hope that i get the drop in grade and not the failing in the paper. oh my goodness... end the lecture

things are not going well... there are building up. but not really.. but nonetheless i am having fun in searching.searching for things... except that everything is coming back to me... headstrong... first and i cant take this anymore.. shuts... i should have studied harder earlier this semester..good luck to my grades... im officially screwed

i want something. but not really. hurry up finish this two weeks ah... i know i want to end it... but then there is this lingering feeling that i know this friendship is going to end with the closing of this semester. what am i aiming to now? jus feeling like i have flipped out this whole semester but its the best yet.

no more thoughts about You. no more questioning and yes... while i am still a believer, i am tired of searching and honestly, i am okay with that. i know i said this so many times, but i rather not be a hypocrite. which is why i am taking a break from church. the other girl havent hand up her essay... i still have that glimmer of hope. but the job in the summer should be exciting. hopefully it is. i don want to write anymore... my goodness...

i am wondering: do you really have to break away completely to find your roots elsewhere. i realise that i have been doing that the whole of this year. i don know what i got from this. but i know that sometimes i miss the support. i miss the times when i know i know... i can just call people to figure out who i am. rather than fluttering around trying to not be who i am. but then again. who am i exactly. this is a question that i don even want to answer. i really cannot wait for break to come. not thinking is fun. but i feel like this would lead me to some abyss that i cannot reach back out.